Starscream's Christmas
by Punk Autobot
Summary: The Holidays are here, and as Starscream waits on Earth for Decepticon reinforcements to arrive, he finds a fun way to amuse himself . . . fun for him, anyway.


This story's plot and main character are based on the 2007 Transformers movie directed by Michael Bay.

I do not own any aspect of Transformers; I am simply writing a short story for my own enjoyment.

* * *

_Starscream's Christmas_

The holiday spirit had swept over the entire nation now. Colorful lights hung from most buildings and homes, making the nights bright and inviting rather than gloomy and bleak. Through the windows of many homes, Christmas trees could be seen proudly displaying their shining ornaments and decorations.Cheerful songs played on the radio, encouraging everyone to "deck the halls," "rock around the Christmas tree," or a number of other fun holiday activities. Snow covered the ground like a giant, fluffy blanket, and children dressed in thick coats, puffy snow pants, tiny mittens and oversized boots were busy playing games in it. Snow angels were made, snowmen assembled, and snow forts constructed. The children's snowball fights never ceased to attract attention, and some of the adults even joined in the fun. Distant relatives came from all around in great numbers to visit their families: Grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, sons, daughters, and cousins all under one roof. The reunited families shared stories, memories, smiles, hugs and kisses together. Traditional dishes and meals were prepared in the excessively busy kitchen, and everyone's mouth watered at the delicious smells emanating from the kitchen as dinnertime approached. People attended and hosted holiday parties. They danced, enjoyed eggnog, and exchanged Secret Santa gifts to one another. Yes, the holidays had finally arrived in all their glory. Peace, harmony, joy and laughter were at a maximum during this most wonderful time of year.

Starscream hated this time of year. He hated it with a passion. Not that he liked any other time he had to spend on this wretched planet deemed Earth much better, but this time of year promoted peace, giving, happiness and tranquility – all things he absolutely could _not_ stand.

As he was the only Decepticon to manage a stealthy escape from the climatic battle between the Autobots and Decepticons, Starscream had sent a transmission into space informing any other Decepticons that their assistance was needed. Now that Megatron's spark was extinguished, Starscream could finally lead the Decepticons the way he had always wanted to, and so it was up to him to pull together a Decepticon army of his own to destroy the accursed Autobots for what they had done. No Decepticons showed up yet, but Starscream had received some response transmissions indicating that it would not be too much longer. His soldiers were coming. All he had to do was wait. Wait and put up with these insolent humans, with their "Christmas joy" and "Holiday cheer." _Gah! _He despised humans.

_Useless fleshlings,_ he thought as he watched yet another family enter the large brick human dwelling he was observing. This is how he had passed time for the last few weeks – as he waited on Earth for more Decepticons to arrive, he observed the humans from discreet hiding places, mostly trying to figure out how they could still be surviving when they were so utterly unintelligent. Currently concealed by the dark of night, Starscream was well hidden in the dip of a wide valley as he observed the isolated human dwelling through his long range targeting sensors. All around the dwelling, trees and bushes were plastered with obnoxiously colored lights, as was the roof of the home. Above its entrance and attached to the edge of the dwelling's roof was a large banner reading "Spread the Christmas Joy!" On the very top of the roof, plastic "reindeer" were hitched to a "sleigh" in which "Santa Clause" sat and waved a welcoming hand. Starscream had learned all of these terms by searching through the human's World Wide Web, which he disappointingly found to be only a small network of mostly irrelevant files, although it did contain some useful government databases.

A young couple approached the home and transcended the stairs that led up to it – the third couple in that age group that were entering the home. Starscream guessed they would do exactly the same moronic thing the other two young couples had done before entering. Amplifying his audio receptors, he herd them exchange a few comments about something called "mistletoe," which Starscream had derived earlier to be the silly looking plant that hung above the entrance. The couple kissed underneath it and proceeded to go inside, laughing and conversing with each other. He had been correct about their actions. Humans were all too predictable.

"Slagging mindless humans and their foolish holiday traditions!" The more of this awkward human behavior Starscream witnessed, the more he loathed the humans. His patience was growing thinner by the minute, although it was never that thick to begin with. There were many humans gathering in this particular dwelling, and the data he received from his analysis programs told him that the humans were attending a "party," specifically a "Christmas party."

Being a Decepticon, Starscream despised any form of fun and celebration that did not involve either destruction of some sort, a good fight, Energon drinking games or at least a few sleazy female Decepticons. _Pathetic humans, they don't even know how to have a real party . . ._ his mind temporarily wandered, and an interesting idea came to him. It would help pass the time a little easier, anyway. He decided he would go through with it. _I might as well have a little fun while I wait for the reinforcements to arrive . . . and I've never crashed a _human_ party before! _

With the exciting thought of destruction in his mind, Starscream could almost hear the weak humans' cries and screams of fear before he had even fired one missile. _No, my missiles would finish them off much too quickly. I want to have some fun with my victims before I obliterate them! _With that thought in his mind, he got up, transformed and shot off towards the human home. Landing with an echoing thud, he latched his claw-like fingers onto the roof and tore it away, flinging it behind him. Immediately the human screams began. Starscream savored the sounds of fear before continuing his attack. Glancing back at the demolished roof, he saw the once proud banner that had hung from it was now ripped into pieces. Mocking it, he turned back to the scattering humans and shouted threateningly, "Christmas joy?!? I'll give you some _CHRISTMAS JOY!!!_" A giant smirk grew across his face's robotic features. _This_ was the sort of activity that filled the violent Decepticon with the most joy of all! Raising up his deadly M61 Vulcan cannon, he opened fire at the helpless fleshlings. The humans scattered everywhere – some totally dismantled by the shots, others fleeing in pure terror. Noticing a small group of humans desperately trying to escape to nearby tree cover, Starscream made a powerful leap and intersected them. He stood menacingly in front of them, enjoying the humans' horrified expressions. Before they had a chance to decide which way to run, he fired and blew them into oblivion. Leaping back to the dwelling, he continued his assault. Being careful not to step on any of the humans, as he did not want to get any of their disgusting internal fluids on his armor, he hesitated for a moment to let the remaining humans think they had a chance of surviving. After they had strewn around to various trees or parked vehicles for protection, he began launching his GBU-39 Small Diameter Bombs. "PATHETIC FOOLS! THERE'S NO ESCAPE!!!" He shouted in total ecstasy. One by one, huge craters formed in the ground as Starscream finished off each of the groups of humans.

But his fun was not over yet. Knowing that there were always a few humans too frozen with fear to run for their pathetic lives, he once again faced the human dwelling. Tearing down the front wall of the home with his forearm, Starscream attempted to force all of the fearful humans still hiding in the home to run from their cover, so he could watch them fall to the shots of his cannon as well. There turned out to be more humans cowering in the building than he had thought. Eleven more of them came running out all at once as he destroyed another wall of the home. The other two walls were tottering for balance now, and they quickly collapsed on their own, squashing two younger humans under them.

"Weaklings." Starscream muttered. The human body had many design flaws, as it could not even stand up to a wall falling on it – an event that would barely scratch the armor a powerful Transformer such as himself. Soft flesh, no external armor, almost no strength, an extremely small brain – the list of human inferiorities went on and on. The more Starscream thought about it, the more he _hated_ humans. They were useless, pathetic, weak and unintelligent. The Universe could do much better without them.

With all these thoughts building up in his mind, Starscream fired at the last of the humans, annihilating them instantly. Turning in a full circle once to observe the damage he had done, Starscream internally laughed with evil pleasure. His job here was done. Transforming into F-22 mode, he blasted off into the night sky. _Merry Christmas to all, you stupid pieces of human slag!!! _Starscream thought as he soared higher and higher into the night sky.

* * *

Not far from where this event had taken place, a three year old girl excitedly jumped away from where she was stationed by the windowsill. 

"I saw him! I saw him!" She exclaimed to her parents in a rush.

"You did?" Her parents looked at each other, trying to conceal their confusion.

"Yes! I saw Santa Clause! He was flying a jet!!!"

* * *


End file.
